Justin wants a sex life, not a sex death. Rebecca wants to walk the unlit corridors of men's brains. They both want joy. Steve wants cash so he can enjoy his trendy body. He wants Carly, too, but she just wants a never-ending orgasm. Johnny wants to be touched and, if possible, he'd like to seem happy. Colin wants to know why tits make his fists clench. This is their story. They try their best. They drag their feet through the fashions, the foul, the famous and the drunk of twenty-first century Britain. They're looking for happiness. What they find is friction. In this filthy, ferocious and very very funny debut, Joe Stretch launches a full-frontal attack on the pornography of everyday life, imagining a world where shopping reigns supreme, sex has ceased to have anything to do with love, and pregnancy has become the final fetish.